


Risk Free

by Overturned_Decent



Category: Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli, Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Coming Out, Wee bit of angst, bc leah is bi and simon loves her, but mostly happy!!!! and soft!!!!!!, cause they're sad about simon being outed, coming out scene, their friendship makes me want to cry i loVe them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 09:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14566257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overturned_Decent/pseuds/Overturned_Decent
Summary: I could tell him. There’s this perfect lull in our conversation, where neither of us speak, though, we’re both okay with it. More or less. Because I want to speak, to say, to scream. IM LEAH AND IM BISEXUAL!!! my brain says.Or, what could've happened if Leah had come out to Simon in that one scene.





	Risk Free

The fan is spinning, and if I turn my head, I know I would see it gently lifting the curly tips of Simon’s hair. 

 

I should tell him. 

 

The curtain covering my window is casting a shadow over about half of my room, the slanted, golden light shooting in rays through the blinds creating a striped pattern over mine and Simon’s bodies. 

 

I want to tell him. 

 

The ceiling is covered in dotty popcorn, which start creating shapes, and words before my very eyes.  _ I’m Leah and I’m bisexual _ the ceiling says. 

 

I could tell him. There’s this perfect lull in our conversation, where neither of us speak, but we’re both okay with it. More or less. Because I want to speak, to say,  _ to scream _ .  _ IM LEAH AND IM BISEXUAL!!!  _ my brain says. 

 

I lift up my hand from it’s place by my side, and carefully rest it over Simon’s. I feel like my body knows how to start this conversation, but my brain is still a few steps behind.  _ Catch up, _ I urge it.  _ We’re falling behind! _

 

“Hey,” I say, and my voice doesn’t sound like mine. I feel rather than hear him, a murmered sort of “huh” sound. It vibrates his shoulder, which tingles against my neck.

 

I want to tell him. 

 

“Hey, Simon,”

 

“Yeah?” He twists his neck so that he’s looking at me, but I can’t move. I’m staring straight up, and my heart is beating out of my chest, and I feel like I’m shaking, but Simon doesn’t say anything, so it’s probably just in my head. 

 

I have no idea what to say. 

 

“I’ve, uh, got a joke for you.” 

 

“Leah, you’re shaking.” He observes, and I can hear the worry thick in his voice. He threads our fingers together, and my palms are clammy. Why am I so worried about this? It’s not like he’s going to take it badly. 

 

“Who has two thumbs and is attracted to both guys and girls?”

 

“Leah,” it’s not an answer to the question, he sounds almost hopeful, but wary at the same time. 

 

“Ding, ding, ding.” I say, because I’m apparently a game show host now. A bisexual game show host who just came out to her best friend. 

 

“Leah,” He says again. “You’re shaking.”

 

I laugh, and it hurts my chest a little bit. “Thanks, I didn’t notice.”

 

“Are you okay?” He asks, his voice a murmer.

 

“Yeah,” I say, whispering back even though there’s no reason to. 

 

“I’m so glad you told me. I’m, like, freaking out internally and the only reason it’s not external is because you looked like you were going to cry for a second.” I laugh again, and realize that my eyes are burning. 

 

“I’m okay,” I tell him again, and now that the adrenaline is lowering, I feel a bubble of excitement start building up. “And bisexual.”

 

I can feel him grin. “And bisexual!”

 

“Yeah, that.”

 

“So,” he turns over so that he’s laying on his stomach, and props his chin up with his hands. There’s a goofy smile on his face, and I grin back. “Who all else knows?”

 

“My mom does,” I say, and roll onto my stomach as well. Our feet are hanging off the bed, and I link them together. “And, well, Abby, too,” I mumble the last part, but I know he hears it because of the immediate gasp.

 

“Abby knows? How’d you tell her?”

 

“It was during the trip we took to Athens,” I pause, pursing my lips. I want to tell him about my crush, about our kiss, about how torn up I feel over it. But. I also know how he feels about Nick and Abby’s breakup. “It just sort of randomly came up. She said something about us both being straight, and I just said that I wasn’t.”

 

“That’s so good!” He exclaims. “How long have you known?”

 

“I’m not sure, I guess. I came out to my mom when I was eleven, but it wasn’t like some big realization. I just knew I didn’t like only boys, that girls were nice too.” 

 

“How’d you tell her?”

 

“During the commercial break of a show. She took it really well.” i smile at the memory. I look at Simon and he’s got a sad sort of wistful expression. I quickly realize he must be thinking about his own coming out, and I nudge his shoulder. “Si?”

 

“Huh?” He looks up. 

 

“Where’d you go?” I ask, and he sighs, smiling, but there’s a distant look in his pretty, gray eyes. 

 

“Junior year,” he says quietly. “Sorry, I’m not trying to make your coming out about me, I just..” He trails off. I grab onto his hand. 

 

“Hey. Don’t apologize for that. You’re allowed to be upset about that, God knows it didn’t go down how you planned.” 

 

“Yeah,” He rubs the blanket with the pads of his thumb and forefinger. “I wish I could have waited longer, I think. Like, I am glad that they know, and I’m glad that I was already out when Bram and I started going out, I just,” he furrows his brow frustratedly. “I just really wish I could have told everyone on my own. Like, I would have given  _ anything _ to have my own moment like this with you, or Nick…” His voice catches, and my throat closes up. I drop my chin on his shoulder, squeezing our hands together tightly. 

 

“I don’t think Nick would have been up for cuddling, though,” I say, and he laughs. 

 

“Yeah, probably.” 

 

“We can have a pretend coming out for you, if you want. I’ll pretend I don’t know and you can tell me.” It’s stupid, and I doubt he’ll go for it, which is why my eyebrows raise when I hear the excitement in his voice:

 

“Really?”

 

“You actually want to? I thought it was dumb,”

 

“No, it’s actually awesome. Can we?”

 

“You’re such a nerd.”

 

“It was your idea!  _ Please? _ ”

 

“Yeah, okay Spier.” I lift my chin off his shoulder and drop it onto the palm of my hand. I make my voice high pitched and slow, like the voice you think of when someone says “Dumb, popular cheerleader”. “Omg, so then, I was like, aaah, Becka, like, please. You can’t be wearing  _ that _ .”

 

He talks in a weird, unnatural falsetto. “I  _ knoooooow _ right? Like, Becky, girl, you  _ wildin’ _ .”

 

“HAHA!!!!” I fake giggle. “Anyway, Simon, why did you invite me over? You said there was, like, something you,like, needed to talk to, like, me about?”

 

This time, he drops his voice about an octave, and I have to really try not to laugh. “Of course…...Leah. I have something of up-most…...security….to discuss with you.” It takes on an almost French accent at the end, and I bite my lip. 

 

“Oh, please…..do tell.”

 

“I am……...a……..homosexual.” He starts laughing towards the end of the sentence, which totally kills the vibe he was going for, and it feels like the perfect moment to switch the voice again. Think deep South:

 

“Well, sugar, there’s no time better than Christmas day to live in the present! Thanks so much, sweet pea, for tellin’ me. Y’all won’t’d’nt’ve EVER had darn worry ‘bout a thang! If anyone at the gadwarnin’ learnin’ joint gives you’sa fly’s shit ‘bout bein’ a ‘home of the spectacle’, they’ll’ll hafta answer to me!” I can ahrdly get the words out, because of how hard we’re laughing. There are tears in my eyes, and Simon’s face is flat against the bed, and I’d worry about him, being able to breath if i couldn’t clearly see his shoulders shaking with laughter.

 

He reemerges, face red and damp looking, and a wide smile on his face. Imitating my accent, he says, “Well, uh, golly gee, LEE-UH, I’m rooty-tootin’ happier than a cat on a patio! I been wantin’ to tell ya for a whole while, and it never felt like the right time until this here second!” He pauses, then: “I sure am glad that I haven’t been outed, and that I was able to tell ya to your here face like I’d always planned.”

 

I drop the accents. “Did you really want to tell me?” 

 

His face gets sad again. “Yeah. I know I’ve said this before, but it just, it felt easier with Abby? She hadn’t known me for very long, and Bram, or well,  _ Blue _ , was the only one who knew, and I was just  _ dying _ to tell someone and...the moment just felt right. Like I said, though, I would’ve loved to have that moment with you. And I’m so glad that you’ve been able to have that moment so many times.” I feel like I’m going to cry. 

 

“Jesus, Si, I-” I break off, wiping at my eyes. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Lee.”

**Author's Note:**

> i just finished this book today and I'm filled with so much JOY and HAPPINESS. This is my first work for the "simonverse" but it'll hopefully soon be one of many, because I love these kids just a little too much for my own good.


End file.
